30 great quotes about money

I love finding websites that provide fodder for the blog, such as jokes and quotes. When you find both, it’s even better, so here’s thirty of my favourite funny quotes about money, finance and banking courtesy of Karlonia.com:

1. Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. — Spike Milligan
2. The hardest thing in the world to understand is income tax. — Albert Einstein
3. I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor: Rich is better. — Sophie Tucker
4. When you’ve got them by their wallets, their hearts and minds will follow. — Fern Naito
5. The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay my American Express bill. — Peter Ustinov
6. What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money. — Henny Youngman
7. Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy. — Spike Milligan
8. When I was young I used to think that money was the most important thing in life and now that I am old, I know it is. — Oscar Wilde
9. It isn’t necessary to be rich and famous to be happy, it’s only necessary to be rich. — Alan Alda
10. Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children. — J. Paul Getty
11. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where shop. — Bo Derek
12. Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. — Woody Allen
13. My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil. — J.P. Getty
14. I have never been in a situation where having money made it worse. — Clinton Jones
15. October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February. — Mark Twain
16. If God only gave me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. — Woody Allen
17. Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die. — Max Asnas
18. I wish that dear Karl could have spent more time acquiring capital instead of merely writing about it. — Jenny Marx
19. One of the strange things about life is that the poor, who need money the most, are the very ones that never have it. — Finley Peter Dunne
20. Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next. — Edmund Stockdale
21. Women prefer men who have something tender about them - especially legal tender. — Kay Ingram
22. Why is there so much month left at the end of the money? — John Barrymore
23. The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money. — Johnny Carson
24. A lot of people become pessimists from financing optimists. — C.T. Jones
25. No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he’d only had good intentions. He had money, too. — Margaret Thatcher
26. I’m as poor as a church mouse, that’s just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese. — Rowan Atkinson
27. When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet. — Nick Arnette
28. Never invest in anything that eats or needs repairing. — Billy Rose
29. There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails. — Spencer Tracy
30. The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less. — Brendon Francis

Mind you, they are missing a key one, as my winner goes to Page 3 Girl Hollie from Manchester, who was quoted in the Sun the other day as saying that there is no need to panic over the £6.2 billion in cuts that the Chancellor recently announced.

Hollie made the perfect analysis of the situation by saying that: “£6.2billion sounds like a colossal figure. But if you imagine public spending as a giant pizza, we’re talking about barely a few anchovies. And I can’t stand the salty little beggars anyway.”

Perfect.

Comments

[Phil Cantor, SmartStream]

A couple of my favourites

"George goes to sleep at a bank from ten to four each day, except Saturdays, when they wake him up and put him outside at two" - Jerome K Jerome, Three Men in a Boat"

"If the Treasury were to fill old bottles with banknotes, bury them at suitable depths in disused coalmines which are then filled up to the surface with town rubbish, and leave it to private enterprise on well-tried principles of laissez faire to dig the notes up again . . . there need be no more unemployment"...John Maynard Keynes